I’ll be the first to admit, I LOVE my big boobs (and to call them big is an understatement) and I’m getting sick of the negative talk about women’s bodies and all the cons of having a large chest. It’s time to embrace the bosoms and love the body your mama gave you. If I don’t love my body, who will? While there are downsides to every body type (including the busty) I have come to realize that there are many more pros to having a large chest and I will prove it to you (figuratively of course, because I will not be flashing my boobs for the internet to see).
They Keep You Warm
I was lying on my couch watching TV the other day when my hands got really cold, and it was in that moment that I realized that I don’t need gloves or a blanket because I have my boobs. They are large, pillowy mounds that my hands fit perfectly in. Did I mention they are warm? So warm. Resting my hands in my cleavage warmed me right up, I suggest trying it next time you are cold and too lazy to grab the blanket.
They Look Good
Let’s face it, ladies, boobs should be a fashion statement because they make almost every outfit look better. I have never thought to myself while looking in the mirror, “Wow, I wish my boobs were smaller” or “Hey, I wish my boobs made this top look better.” I love what I’ve got, especially in a v-neck. I know what you’re thinking and, yes, too much cleavage is scary – but you can control the amount of boob you show. Rock that cleavage, because it looks good. And a dress cinched at the waist? You know your boobs make that dress 10x better, so thank them!
I’m serious here anytime you don’t want to bring your purse out with you, don’t worry just put your stuff in your bra. No one can tell if you’ve stored your id, money, or phone when you have big boobs. Best of all, you can sneak so much alcohol into any venue by hiding it in your bra. Works every time and is perfect for concerts where they jack up the price of alcohol. It pays to have big boobs
You always save money on drinks. Who cares if men don’t know you have six extra dollars in your pocket? I know that sounds bad, but how many times are you truly going to meet the man of your dreams in a bar? Maybe it’s a 1 in 1,000 chance – so use your assets to your favor and save that money, girl!
Women Wish They Were You
…or at least that they had half of what you’ve got. All around the world women are paying to have an ample chest like yours. And here some women are complaining about their god-given gift. Embrace it, honey, love them and cherish them like the gifts they are.
It’s Easier to Gain Weight (Because It Goes to Your Chest)
A good rule of thumb is, as long as your boobs are bigger than your stomach, you’re good. That gives you a good 15-20 lbs of leeway.
If you’re as lucky as I am your boobs can act like a makeshift shelf. You can rest an assortment of different things on them from a bowl of cereal to your remote control, and even a kitten! Yes, you read that correctly, a kitten. My chest is my cat’s favorite place to sleep and lucky for her they are big enough for her to fit comfortably.
I don’t know exactly how to explain this I just know that my boobs intimidate all different types of people, both male and female. Use this to your advantage.
You Definitely CAN Find Sexy Undergarments
This so much a plus as it is a fact. Victoria’s Secret now goes into the triple-Ds and there are many different online lingerie outlets that go even larger than that. Or try a plus size store (like Torrid, which does indeed sell sexy lingerie). The size of your breasts should not hinder you from wearing that sexy nightgown for your significant other – you may just have to try a little harder to find one.
They’re Fun to Play With
This one self-explanatory. Have you ever been bored and found yourself holding your own boobs? The answer is always yes. Boob are fun, plain and simple.
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Cara recently moved to the Los Angeles area from Chicago to follow her dreams of being a comedic writer. Cara enjoys taking improv classes at UCB while simultaneously hitting the open mic circuit around the city. She is your typical chronic single friend who fills her free time with comedy, friends, lots and lots of vodka, and even more cats. Cara is the happiest being around the people she cares about the most, and of course surrounded by her gaggle cat followers.